I read recently another person talking about a door opening in the bottom of their heart, and their entire being falling straight through. That's exactly where I'm at -- falling, tumbling, turning through nothingness from a door I never saw.
13 1/2 years and now my wife wants a divorce. Three (four?) days out from this news and it's been a cycle of being okay, being normal, panic attack, crying jag, hyperventilation, desperately trying to plan for a future I can't envision, and oh yeah, taking care of kids and trying to work at my job.
I'm sitting on the precipice of 40 and suddenly the small comfort I had of having a home in this world is gone. I don't know how to begin to rebuild my life from here. I don't know what this means for our kids. And every time I think about the fact that someday soon I will not be waking up with them in a house we live in together, a piece of my soul dies.
